Nirvana means a state of perfect ideal or happiness. Everyone on this planet seeks this and tries to find it in different places be that in a relationship, career, or hobbies. The hard truth is though that it doesn't exist on this earth. Glimpses of it can be found and felt but it is all temporary. It doesn't last. People are stubborn though and still attempt to attain it. We all know, deep down, that it can't be found in this realm but everyone literally dies trying.
I guess I'm in a darker place today, what with this topic and all. I just needed somewhere to put my thoughts so there they are. I'm actually typically a very happy seeming person, but lately my whole world has been turned upside down and in it I don't even recognize myself and that just has me down and questioning everything.
All that said, here is my song choice for today. It certainly isn't my norm but Emilie Autumn has a gorgeous voice and her offbeat style really draws me in. And currently this song's message is exactly what I need.
So I love this band way way too much to not dedicate an entire post to them. Recently I have fallen completely in love with the band "As It Is." I absolutely love their lead singer. He has the most amazing stage presence and really gets the audience going. I actually stumbled upon them as they were one of the openers for Mayday Parade and I was going to Mayday's concert. They were the first band on stage opening for Mayday and I have loved them ever since. Patty Walters (lead vocalist) voice is very singular and you can tell he's having a blast performing on stage. He swings his mic around and is just jumping all over the stage, getting the audience just as excited. It was just unbelievable and I couldn't believe I was just now finding out about this band. Below I of course have posted one of their songs to give you a sample of their music. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. They really are a great band and I hope to see them more in the future. Unfortunately they are based in Europe so they aren't in my area as much as I would like.
So this last week has been rough. I don't even know what has been bugging me but it has definitely stressed me out a lot. I find myself thinking back to when I was a kid and realizing how easy it was back then. Of course everyone tells you your life is easy and "just wait until you grow up" but you really can't appreciate it even if you try until you are on the other side looking back. That's when you fully appreciate how easy it was back then. Not that life isn't great currently either but being an adult certainly comes with a lot of responsibilities that you aren't fully sure you are ready for. But survive you must so you carry on as best you can, simultaneously inevitably dealing with quite a bit of stress. This song says everything I feel about growing up and probably says it better than I can too. I love this band and this song is definitely a favorite of mine.
Halloween is in the air and with it, all the creepy ghoulishness that we love to celebrate this time of year. It doesn't have to make sense in fact, it makes it all that more creepy if it doesn't. In that way it'll tend to bug you as your mind tries to make sense of it. In the spirit of that I am posting the below video. This music video to me was honestly creepy. I understand the meaning behind it and all but the scene in the motel parking lot is just unnerving and doesn't make complete sense to me. I could probably bullshit some meaning behind it but in the end, it has just the right amount of elusiveness to bother one's mind as to what is actually going on. At any rate I love it and decided to post it here.
However, while on the topic of Halloween, I actually have a Halloween costume prepared in advance this year! Yay! (jumps up and down clapping). It's been a couple years since I've done a couple's costume but this year it all worked out and I am proud to announce that I will be Cersei Lannister while the bf is Jaime. I think it's pretty funny so of course had to do it. I love creative costumes always and this fit that bill while being a costume both of us will enjoy donning October 31st.
Also, guess what! I'm adopting two new cats. Pictures and details will be posted this weekend since that is when I am getting them. I am taking in a mother cat and her kitten. I have names picked and everything but will not be announcing that until I make their official post. More on them later but just had to share that tidbit.
My birthday is about a month away, and I could not be more excited. Yes, I'll be a year older, 24 to be exact, but really age is just a number. Inside honestly I still feel like a kid. I still get really excited over the small things and honestly don't have a clue about any of the "adulting" stuff that I'm supposed to be about. The "fun" ages may technically be over but honestly, to me they aren't over until I say they are. So cheers to being perpetually young at heart.
That being said, I still love video games. I am one of the few PC gamers and have been since I was a kid. Yes, I have debated getting a PS4 or an Xbox One but in the end my heart is with PC. The games are almost always better on that platform and I find it easier to play on, granted maybe that's because it's all I've ever known. Either way, adult me still hasn't grown up from my love of video games.
So today I will share with you a game that looks intriguing and exciting to me. It doesn't have a release date announced and who knows how much fun it'll actually be to play, but I do love the artwork and from this trailer it looks like a lot of fun. I definitely anticipate finding out more as it is developed and potentially playing it in the future!
so...today has been crazy to say the least. Actually the past 2 days have been. It all started yesterday when I decided to go on a grocery errand. That then turned into my car breaking down on the highway, and I had to get it towed to a repair shop. Today, I found out that basically a part just broke way before it should have and as a result I will need to pay 2k to fix all the damage. Talk about bad luck. So just as my job was picking up and I was looking forward to having extra money, now all my extra money will be going to this car repair. So, the following song has definitely been how I feel today. Actually, any song by Simple Plan today has been what I've been in the mood for. I've just been really down today trying to get over the shock of this. Especially because I'm so attached to this car but I'm now faced with whether I should trade it in before it just starts having repairs left and right since this past year it definitely has put a dent in my wallet. Oh life. But enough on that, I'll just leave this song here for ya.
Whether we want to or not, we grow up. Time passes by before you know it. I know at age 23 I'm just wondering where all the time went and how I got here so fast. It's weird doing this adulting thing. I actually have to be responsible and all that.
I know I'm still adjusting to this new phase of life even though sometimes I feel like I'm still just a kid who doesn't know what they are doing. The truth is though everyone around you, all your friends and peers, feel the same way. They may look like they are all put together and know what they are doing but what they don't tell you is that they are new to this too and it's making them feel just as awkward and weird.
Some days you are a boss ass bitch and you feel like you owned at life but as you adjust into this new world and stage there will be the days that you feel lost and like you can't do anything right. The important thing to remember is that you aren't alone and it's ok to feel lost sometimes. Sometimes that's what helps us figure things out so that we do better next time.
Most importantly don't lose the kid at heart that is inside you. Yes, you are now responsible for the food on your table and the roof above you but that doesn't mean you have to lose your fun spirit and stop having fun. You can grow up without becoming serious and boring. Life will stress you out but don't forget to have fun once in a while.
